#ymmfire Day Four: Now What

Woke up once again in the Jeep, in a parking lot for the second time in three days. Realized that sleeping in the front seat is not something I want to make a habit of. Time to start the day, which means using the facilities in the gas station, and buying gas station food for breakfast.

Next the committee of the Jeep and the f150 decided we would wait for the press release form the politicians before we moved on. In the mean time Eden and I had to cancel our vacation, which involved calling a travel agency who had no sympathy for our situation and could only offer us a booking at a later date at a hefty cost to us. After I tried talking to the travel agency and called the agent somewhat less than humane I called the airline.

I spoke to a lovely lady named Angela at American Airlines who was sympathetic, incredibly helpful, and aware of the situation. She was able to get my a full refund and her deepest sympathies, to which I informed her she had lived up to her name and bade her well.

The press release made it quite clear we weren't going home anytime soon so we formed a mini convoy and started heading south, no destination yet in mind. Taking a right at the end of 881 we headed down a dirt and dust road towards Plamondan and Grassland.

A quick stop on the side of the road after the bearded dragon had a nasty bowel movement, where I discovered my rifle case was getting filled with dust(more on this later). In Plamondan we saw more scenes of vehicles lined up at gas stations and signs offering help as we drove through.

At the highway 63 turn off traffic was slowed as a constant flow of vehicles headed south. A few hundred meters there were some women on the side of the read offering water and diapers. At their kindness Eden began to cry but I saw what, I had always believed, people are inherently good, there would be more of this over the next little bit.

In Grassland we decided to stop to pee and get fuel, the lines weren't as bad here but they were still there. Of course the pumps weren't working properly so everything was slower than it should have been. In an effort to reduce the line we took the f150 and the Jerry cans through, while sitting in the truck with the Jerrys in my hand out the window a reporter from the Edmonton Journal came over, took my picture and asked a few questions(if anyone same these pictures please send them too me).

Behind there was an argument over whether someone had scooped someone at the pump or not, Arron and I did our best to ignore this. Inside the store was nearly empty of goods but packed with people. We fueled our vehicles and once again hit the road, now I'm gonna stop here because something happened on 881 not long ofter we left but this is where we found out.

Officially there were no deaths during the mass evacuation from Fort McMurray, unofficially there were two on highway 881. I should probably research this but I won't so I'll tel it how I remember. A light vehicle crossed the center line and collided with a tanker truck killing the young male and female occupant of the light vehicle and starting a fire. These were the only fatalities, now then.

We decided to go to Fort Saskatchewan, my sister had a storage unit there, she know people and they were being very welcoming to refugees so it seemed like our best bet. At the entrance to Fort Sask we split with the Jeep heading for Walmart where we waited for Sophia and I tried to find a hotel. Of course every hotel that would allow animals was booked full,,so in a desperate attempt I tried the local Super 8.

They had a two Queen suite that allowed pets and was $100 a night, I booked it in the parking lot and we had our temporary home. A lady in the parking lot gave Eden a case of water and some food and a hug and Eden cried again. Then Sophia showed up with a combination of new and used stuff for Xavier and Eden cried and they hugged.

We left our trailer, camping supplies and Sassy and Arron at Sophia's where I was bitten by a dog. A Weiner dog to be specific, the irony of escaping the Beast unscathed to be injured by a Weiner dog was not lost on me.

Sophia took Xavier to a birthday party while we moved into room 200 of the Super 8, cats in the bathroom, fish on top of the fridge. Remember the fish, Zombie? Well he spent the better part of the journey in a case the size of a deck of cards after Jax broke his Betta cup.

At Walmart we spent $500 on clothes and toiletries just because it was the stuff we were used to like my Old Spice deodorant and body wash. I also bought two pairs of blue jeans and white t-shirts because I wanted to do something different. Having enough stuff to get us through a little bit we picked up Xavier and retired to the hotel.

Now you might ask why we spent all that money on a hotel and supplies rather than go to a resource center? Well we, like much of the Fort McMurray refugees were well off and used to taking care of ourselves. We also assumed there would be other less crazy people that would be worse off than us so we didn't want to take what we didn't need. This will come up again later.

One last thing, that hotel bed was the most amazing bed I'd ever slept in.

#ymmfire Day Three(part two): Mass Exodus

I found myself with my odd collection of refugees at the ranch on highway 69. 63 was a parking lot and they weren't letting us go that way so we waited and listened to the radio and scanner. All around the city the evacuation was in full swing as people found themselves fleeing from the place they had, considered safest.

I was left with time to think as we waited to be allowed south, Eden having already past 69 and being down 881. So I did what any reasonable person would and called my insurance company, TD. The connection was garbage but I was able to establish that I was well covered and had no worries in that respect.

It was time for retrospect, I had left my bugout bag and Mare's Leg. I had only the clothes on my back and my broken in hiking boots. My sister had snacks and drinks to keep the little ones occupied as we waited. The Jeep was left running to protect the occupants who could not wander around the ranch.

After several hours that felt like days we received word that the ranch was to be evacuated as well. By a stroke of luck we found that the northbound lanes of 63 had been converted to South as well, allowing us to make excellent time and to avoid most of the traffic. Along the way I spotted my buddy Karl in his Jeep, possibly the only person outside of my family I was immediately worried about.

After a snarl up at the turn off to 881 because some fool in his penis enhancer felt the officer directing him had no business preventing him from turning south onto the clearly overloaded highway, we caught up with Karl at Gregoire Lake Estates. He told me how he had stayed until the flames were almost at his house, then had sent his friend back on a dirt bike to retrieve a snake that had been left. We left Karl at Gregoire Lake and continued on.

We were slowed again as we approached Gregoire Lake reserve where dozens of vehicles waited it line in every direction at the single gas station. The Jeep had three quarters of a tank, as I had fueled up the day before just in case. We continued on to Anzac where we discovered a similar event so we parked at a community church just outside Anzac and waited for Eden to return.

Her and Holly had gone to Conklin for fuel and water for the baby and were making their way back to Anzac where Holly's family had gone to the community center. While waiting for Eden I discovered the shorts I was wearing did not protect my legs from the ridiculous amount of mosquitoes that blanketed the area, so my sister gave me a pair of her boyfriend's jeans, now I don't wear jeans so that should tell you something of the situation.

Have you ever seen those movies where the gas runs out or people evacuating flood the gas stations and line up for miles? That's exactly what Anzac and Gregoire Lake looked like as people with not enough gas were forced to wait, or even abandon their vehicles.

When Eden and Holly arrived with Holly's baby Aaliyah, her dog Ace, and her cat. Holly was wearing nothing but short shorts, and a tank top, she had no leash for her dog and it was readily apparent they had made it out with less than we did. Like Sassy Holly's boyfriend was north of the city, and she had nothing with her. I gave her my beloved SOG belt to use as a leash for her dog.

We said goodbye to Holly and Eden joined our little ark as we once again hit the highway headed south, the smoke filling my rear view mirrors as darkness settled. I'll admit it was cramped in the Jeep, Jax had broken Zombie's original container and he now rode in a small plastic case that had originally been a first aid kit, about the size of a deck of cards.

At some point the sake took a shit which is the foulness thing ever in an enclosed space. When we stopped to let Jax pee some kind women stopped to insure we were alright and to make sure we had gas, I assured her we did and she was on her way. We were also on our way, the fuel gauge dropping as the Jeep ate up the now empty highway.

Like a port in a storm we came upon the hamlet of Janvier where a gigantic sign and several very nice people pointed us to a small gas station where we could get food and fuel. We put twenty bucks into the Patriot got lost trying to find bannock and once again we headed south, now certain we would make it to Conklin which was as far as my Sassy would go without her boyfriend.

I fueled up the Jeep and we raided the convenience store for water and food. I bought three bottles of water, a cinnamon bun, a pep and cheddar stick, a bag of Jerky, and a little veggie tray. As of the writing of this part, that was the last time I had vegetables. Sassy's boyfriend wouldn't arrive until at least three am.

While we waited the gas station ran out, the store closed at one am, several hours later than normal. A tow truck driver from AMA showed up with 200 litres for AMA members but though I was a member the Jeep was full and I wasn't taking more than I needed. I met a man who stopped to piss in front of me and told me how he lost his house and two rental properties that were all paid for and uninsured.

There was now more time to think but I refused, instead I just watched. Every so often a convoy of ten or so vehicles would come south past the gas station, some stopping to wait at the now closed pumps, some continued on towards Lac La Biche. At some point a fuel truck arrived and refuelled the station, later a convoy of emergency vehicles headed north.

Aaron finally arrived and we moved Sassy's animals over to his work truck, he had snuck into Gregoire and grabbed a few more things, which opened up room in the Jeep. At his point it was three am and we decided to sleep in the vehicles in the parking lot, this will forever be remembered as a bad idea.

Using a pair of Aaron's pyjama pants as a pillow I had the worst sleep of my life. Unable to lean my seat back because Cindy was behind me I had to keep switching positions every thirty minutes or so. This would make day four another very long day indeed.

#ymmfire Day Three(part one): Shit Hits the Fan

I slept until eleven on Tuesday May third. When I woke up I texted my brother, Bobby and wished him a happy birthday. My next plan was to unpack from Calgary. So I put on a pair of Camo Columbia shorts, a pair of smartwool socks, my Bear Grylls button up adventure shirt, and my comfy masturbation shoes.

I dumped out my duffel bag and went for a smoke, the sky was clear and things seemed to be improving. An hour later after fooling around inside with my guns I came back out for another smoke, much had changed. The smoke of doom now filled the sky, hovering over Gregoire with all the threat of a death sentence given form.

It was on this smoke that I called my boss, no evacuation had been issued but I asked him what I was to do about work should I be evacuated. He told me to call the leadership if I'm evacuated and let them know. This was about one pm.

Eden's cousin Holly called her and asked her to come to Thickwood to watch the baby while Holly showered. Cindy and I were against this as my spider sense was in full blown panic mode. We even suggested that Holly shower at our house to no avail.

I started grabbing things at this time while Eden waited for Holly to pick her up. Xavier was on the couch with his ipad enjoying his usual late breakfast. I texted my sister, Sassy and told her to get ready again. I grabbed some of my favourite knives and a couple things and tossed them on the bed at this time I assumed I had two hours to get ready, at least.

Eden left with Holly and Sassy called me and said she was going to pack and wanted to know if I would drive her to work at two, I said I would. Next I grabbed the tote filled with dehydrated food and began filling water bottles. I also moved my Mossberg 464spx and AR7 to the front door. My Henry Mare's leg I put in my bug out bag.

I locked my two GI style Jerry cans to the trailer and was in the process of grabbing camping gear from the shed when my sister called to say she was ready to go. I told Cindy to get ready, grabbed my multicam special forces scarf and multicam boony hat and jumped in the Jeep to take my sister to work.

Sassy worked at a Pet Value downtown and after missing the previous day of work she felt obligated to go to work today. As we made our way downtown I became aware of how bad the situation was rapidly becoming. I was ready to turn back but Sassy's sense of duty kept us heading down Beacon Hill where it was becoming quickly apparent that north bound traffic wasn't moving.

We made it as far as the Walmart on hospital street before it became obvious we could go no farther north. Sassy called her work and said she wasn't going to make it and we began heading south again. Remembering the snarl ups in traffic I cut through waterways and got onto the south bound highway,this would be the last time I saw waterways and downtown.

As we neared the top of the Beacon Hill traffic stopped and began crawling. The sky was nothing but a black mass now, I could see all around me as people panicked and cried in their vehicles. Phone lines were getting jammed but I was able to get through to Eden to tell her to get out.

Now at the top of the hill I realized the flames were visible less than, two hundred feet to my right, the heat palpable even inside the air conditioned Patriot. North bound traffic was completely deadlocked except for an occasional emergency vehicle. Vehicles were driving along the grass to escape Beacon Hill now and things were breaking down further as the smoke and heat grew exponentially.

Traffic was no longer moving, I was two hundred feet from the entrance to Gregoire when I decided I was getting back to my son. Sassy had begun to panic in the passenger seat and traffic was starting to spread out on the north bound lanes. I saw an opportunity made a plan, allowed several other vehicles to do the same thing and went for it.

Flipping on the left signal light I floored the Patriot and cranked the wheel hard, the Jeep leaping off the highway and into the ditch separating the highway, trailer bouncing along behind. I stopped at the northbound lanes and waited for the dust to clear before I floored it again and we were across into the ditch on the other side.

The ditch on the far side of the highway went down at a forty five degree angle before going up at something like a seventy degree angle, I hit this with the petal to the metal and that Canadian tire dragging along behind. Amazing the Jeep and the trailer made it to the walking path that ran parallel to the highway and into Gregoire.

Just as we were about to get back to the road we hit an interesting weather phenomenon; a miniature tornado formed by the fire and filed with all manner of debris which hammered the Jeep. Above the Jeep powerlines began to spark and explode and I find myself with no visibility. With no other choice I steered and hit the gas making it back out to the road, where I found myself driving on the wrong side of the road.

Following the wrong side of the road and hoping traffic wouldn't drive into us we turned into a smaller trailer court hoping there was a way into ours. I found nothing and when ready to drive through a fence to get home. Luckily that didn't become necessary when I saw a truck cut through the fire hall parking lot and onto a greenbelt between the trailer courts.

Luckily I had driven into this greenbelt from inside the trailer court once before I was able to find my way back in and to my house. I came flying in, driving across my front lawn and basically parallel parking. My sister and I ran into the house yelling for Cindy to get ready and gathering up what we could and throwing it where we could. I grabbed a TRU spec tote bag and my osprey 24/7 backpack.

The next few minutes passed in a blur which involved a screaming match with Cindy, nearly forgetting my fish and losing my keys. I made it out with my clothes on my back, two guns, two multitools, five knives, one tomahawk, and my costume accessories from the Expo. Xavier made it out with his jammies and ipad.

Cindy ended up bringing two suitcase and I grabbed Eden's duffel bag from the Expo because she hadn't unpacked. Inside the Jeep we now had my fish, two cats in a wicker trunk, Rosie in her carrier, and Jax riding in the front seat. In the trailer was an assortment of camping gear, pet food, the suit cases, dehydrated food, water, and my 464spx.

Saying goodbye to our house after running back in the grab Zombie we made our way to Sassy's house where we added her two cats, one fish, one bearded dragon, one corn snake, and her two bags. I called Eden and told her to meet us at Indian beach, which they had opened to evacuees.

Maxing our way out of the city would prove difficult involving once again driving on the wrong side of the road, a pleasant Rcmp officer and discovering the highway south was a parking lot. We were rerouted to highway 69, luckily Sassy's boyfriend's family own the ranch there and we were able to rest for a while. Unfortunately Eden was now south of town at Indian Beach, and Sassy's boyfriend, Arron was north of the city.

Okay I'm gonna pause here, just like we did because day three was a very long day and I need a break. I'll make a day three part two to continue this tale very soon.

#ymmfire, Day Two: The Calm

It was around seven am when Eden and I woke up, neither of us having slept very well. We filled up the Patriot and headed the last two and a half hours back to Fort McMurray. The drive was uneventful, the evacuation order for, Gregoire lifetime and the fires seemed to have taken a rest.

We made it back to our house, the neighbourhood still mostly empty, only a few die hard holdouts still there. The house was empty, something that hadn't happened since we moved in. We unloaded the Jeep into the living room and made our way across town to where our family was staying.

At the time Gregoire was clear, blue sky, no smoke, just any other day. As we came down Beacon Hill towards downtown it was clear things weren't yet back to normal. Thick grey smoke coated the downtown area like a fog from Hell itself. Visibility was, extremely reduced and it became hard to breathe so I kept the air conditioning on in the Jeep.

The smoke was thinner in Thickwood as we stopped at the Tim Horton's there for coffee and food but the air still had that aroma of campfire gone wrong. Unlike Gregoire the people north of the bridge seemed to be going about their business as usual, the drive through was busy and people came and went everywhere you looked.

We made it to our family who we were happily reunited with; Xavier, Cindy, Jax, Rosie, Fritz, Lil Bear, and Zombie. My son, mother-in-law, shepherd, chihuahua, two cats, and Betta. Crammed into a fifth wheel travel trailer. After Cindy finished giving us shit for making the journey Eden and I fell quickly asleep still in our clothes from the day before.

It was a short restless sleep and I awoke over heated and soaked in sweat. Leaving the animals at the travel trailer we decided to go get my trailer; a ten foot wire mesh Canadian Tire special we bought off my Dad. We were going to sleep in our own beds that night, which on top of being the last time for long while would also be the best decision we made.

The rest of the day passed without excitement as things seemed to return to normal. We packed up our animals from the travel trailer, thanked our host, Jamie and went home.

At home we brought everything inside but I left the trailer hooked up to the Jeep, my spider sense still tingling. We didn't bother to unpack from Calgary, leaving all our bags packed. All my survival gear still sat on the shelving unit where I stored it. I don't remember when we went to bed, it seems so unimportant at the time. I just remember that it was a really deep sleep and the last decent one I've had. I didn't dream but according to most people day three was the beginning of a nightmare that hasn't yet ended.

#ymmfire, day one

It was May 1st, 2016, I was in Banff, Alberta with my wife, Eden and my brother. We had just finished three days of the Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo and we're taking the Sunday to relax in Banff before driving home to Fort McMurray the next time day. It all started when my mother in law sent Eden and I a picture of a smoke plume taken from our front door. It was a cool picture, if I find it I will add it to this blog; the smoke covered the sun and turned it a deep crimson. With that cell phone picture my whole world changed.

Okay I'm going to pause the story here and give some context and general information on this tale which will be partly analysis, part biography, and part conjecture because this is the single most fascinating thing to happen in my life. Unfortunately I'm not the kind of person to write things as they happen or to keep a diary so I will be piecing some parts from memory, social media, news media, and any documentation I might have around. Anyways sorry for boring you with this let's get back to one of what I'm sure is many interesting tales of, survival from the biggest evacuation in Alberta history.

The picture combined with news reports of evacuation warnings coming from the city convinced my wife and I that we needed to head home straight away, even though it meant driving all night after three days of the Expo and a day walking around Banff. In my younger years I had done more on less, now pushing thirty I was having a harder time but I knew my wife needed to get home.

Phone calls from my sister proved more informative than my mother in law, what was home with my son, or any media sources. My sister told me she could see the flames across the highway where a permanent fifth wheel Park, a hotel, a Burger King, and a Shell/Flying J had already been emptied.

To quote my sister, "you always think you want to see it, but actually seeing it is fucking scary."

By the time we made it back to our hotel on the north side of Calgary, my Jeep Patriot now full of gas and a Mountain Dew energy drink for me, the evacuation of Gregoire had started. My wife’s best friend was headed to our house to get my son, mother-in-law, two dogs, and two cats. My fish was to be left behind, something trivial I know but I can get quite attached to my pets even, the not so cute ones.

As we quickly packed up our hotel room and checked early my concern grew and my wife began to panic, the thought of, being so far from her child in danger almost too much for her to bear. The Patriot loaded up, I waited for by wife to have a smoke in front of the hotel. At this time she was talking to her mother, my sister phoned me at the same time.

She lived nearby with her boyfriend and they had all evacuated already, but being my sister and knowing I wasn't home she wanted to check in on my family. As my sister packed up my family and pets, even the fish, Zombie. My wife, brother and I hit the QE2 and I prayed for a tail wind. We found a place for them all to stay in the fifth wheel of a good family friend.

With our family safe across town from the fires my wife and brother fell asleep before Red Deer, leaving me alone to think. I found it ironic that the apocalypse expert would be far away when the disaster finally came knocking, I would come to regret this thought over the coming days. Thankfully some asshat in a Mazda decided my headlights were too bright and followed me with his brights on until I finally cut my speed to 80 kmh and he was forced to pass. So I followed him for a few clicks with lights in his mirror because I'm nothing if not petty behind the wheel.

It was around midnight when I dropped my brother of at his home in Edmonton. Sometime between there and Grassland the mandatory evacuation was switched to voluntary which angered some people. At about 3 am my wife and I stopped in Wandering River, parking the Jeep in between a cube van and a flat deck tractor trailer, we slept there until 7 am when day two began.